Mumbai – Final Stop In India

Day 1 – Budget Hotel

Having avoided the hell train we arrived at Mumbai airport around 2.00 and swiftly found a cab office where we asked to be taken to our hotel.  The only drama on this trip was because the car was so small our luggage had to go on the roof rack (unsecured) which had me worried most of the drive, especially round the bends, I imagined some Indian suddenly inheriting my wardrobe albeit a smelly wardrobe.

After around an hour we arrived at our less than plush accommodation for the night, which was at the low end of our budget as this was an extra night that we hadn’t planned on (getting the flight instead of overnight train).  To give you some idea the wardrobe was built into the wall and about 2 inches deep and the walls were cream with some lovely brown staining (not by design), however we were not that bothered as we knew what we had coming for the following three days.

We dumped our gear and headed out to see what Mumbai had to offer and shortly found ourselves sitting on a rooftop bar overlooking the sea and to our left was the Gate of India (Built for when King George the something arrived here in the 30’s?? – I could google it but am sitting by a pool with no internet connection – tough life!).  It was a lovely view the only problem was the beer price at about £5 a pint!!  As this was not in our budget we decided to move on after one.

Next we thought we would check out our accommodation for the next three nights (The Taj Mahal Palace) and found it was just a short walk up the road.  We then had a wander around the local markets and looked for cheaper beers but struggled to find any pubs at all so we returned to a rooftop bar that was next to the first one we found.  The beer price was slightly less so we figured that Mumbai may be a little expensive, so we had a couple of beers and a nice spinach curry dish with Naan bread and decided we would go home for the night and watch a film and look forward to tomorrow.

Day 2 – Having it Taj!!! (Xmas Eve)

A nice rude awakening by a crow squawking its head off sat on our window ledge which sounded like it was in our room (and also a bit like Shell’s nagging!!) was what got us up this morning.  Whilst we got washed and dressed (into the smartest thing I have - also the only clean clothes I have) we ordered breakfast, which was room service as they had no restaurant.  When it turned up it was a couple of slices of toast with butter and jam and a cup of tea.

We checked out and dragged our luggage up the road to the Taj Mahal Palace, we were not arriving in style in an air-conditioned limo, the clampet’s were arriving at the Taj!!  Arriving two hours early (wanting to get our monies worth!) we entered via the main palace entrance rather than the tower back entrance, to be greeted by salubrious décor which included very tasteful Christmas decorations, in fact it was so posh Shell and I had difficulty in working out what was the reception area.

A big thanks to Des as the package you sent to The Taj arrived containing Shell’s replacement rolling tobacco tin (After a month of hand rolling fags for her I am finally off duty!!).

As we were early we checked in but had to wait for our room, so we were asked to wait in the lounge whilst our room was prepared and were given welcome mocktails whilst we waited.  About half an hour later we were shown up to our room, through corridors that had little pots of scented oils burning along them.  After weeks of smelling raw sewage and other unsavoury smells it was like we had arrived in heaven!

The door to our room was opened and we could not contain our excitement and happiness to be in a beautiful room with a massive fluffy bed, massive flat screen TV, dressing area, gorgeous bathroom with all the freebies you could imagine including loads of fluffy white towels (Usually used to one less than clean one between us in most of the places we have stayed), full array of tea’s/coffees, mini-bar, glasses, arm chairs and a fabulous view over the sea and The Gate of India. I could wax lyrical about this room for a few pages but all I will say is you have no idea how happy we are with our massive upgrade in accommodation (Thanks Mum/Dad for this Xmas gift!).

After checking out all the amenities our room had to offer we went downstairs to the garden/pool area which had a real colonial feel to it with pillars and wicker armchairs and got some mats and towels from the pool attendant and set about relaxing on the grass area next to the pool.  It is like a little oasis in a dessert that is india!

We then decided to go to the smoking area and order some drinks as it was getting very hot (I’d say about 85 degrees).  Unfortunately the one draw back in staying at a place like this is that it’s going to be expensive - £20 for two gin & tonics!!  So I don’t think our alcohol consumption will be very high here.  Whilst very slowly consuming our drinks we got speaking to a guy who had been there a few days and he pointed us in the direction of a few cheaper bars nearby. The guy we chatted to booked the Taj as he an his wife had seen ‘Hotel India’ on the TV (like Shel), there were quite a few English at the hotel so we imagine the program has done a lot for their business.  He mentioned  that they had seen a few celebs there too but we didn’t recognise anyone.

The swimming pool was also a nice reason to be here as for the first time since Sri Lanka we were able to cool off in the water.  We dried off and then headed back to our room, just to check it was still there and not a figment of our imagination!

Relaxing for a bit and having the best shower experience of our trip so far I then caught up on some blogging before we set off out for the night.

First stop was a bar we had been recommended and the beer was indeed a bit cheaper at around £3 a pint. The bar/restaurant was very busy with cartoons all over the walls and a Wurlitzer duke box in the corner that was cranking out cheesy rock music, Queen, Bryan Adams and the like.  We stayed there for a bit and fed the duke box (and ourselves) putting on the least cheesy songs we could find finishing with the one Metallica track I could find (One) just to annoy the locals!

The next plan of action was to find an off-licence to stock our mini-bar with some cheaper alcohol of our own.  Fighting our way through the crowds that were shopping we were approached by a guy who apart from selling Hash and Cocaine was also touting for a nearby bar that did cheap beer.  We followed him along the street and then up into a very dirty/seedy looking bar, where we were sat and then given a drinks menu.  Indeed the beers were cheaper at around £1.80 but the guy intended on sitting with us until I got him an expensive whisky,  I pointed him in the direction of a cheaper whisky which he didn’t seem interested in, so I gave him 50 Rupees instead which seemed to do the trick as he buggered off.  Although the beer was cheap we only stayed for one as it was a pretty dingy place which was a totally male dominated, so I’m not sure Shell fitted in there.

So back to our plan and after a while we located a beer shop and purchased a bottle of Smirnoff Vodka, tonic waters and a bottle of the local prosecco (Xmas Champagne!) we then sat at the side of the road and decanted the Vodka into my water flask for smuggling purposes (They scan all bags going into the Taj and we were not sure if bringing your own bottles in were allowed).  Before heading back to the hotel.

Pleased that our smuggling operation had been successful we returned to our fantastic room (Did I mention we like our room!!) which had been turned down for us by our butler and had some very large Vodka and Tonics whilst lying in our massive fluffy clean bed watching a movie on our massive flat screen TV, before drifting off for the best night’s sleep of our trip.

Day 3 – It’s Chrrriiiissssmmmmaaaaaassss!!

No it wasn’t a dream I am still in a lovely hotel room.  So we get up and make ourselves (Well Shell did) some nice cafetier coffee and sit around in our armchairs waking up whilst admiring our lovely view.

Eventually we had to leave our room for breakfast (included in the room price), opening our door we found the days papers hung in a bag round the handle and also found that Santa had visited as there was also a Christmas Stocking that contained chocolates & Christmas cake (How good is this hotel!!) 

So we went down to the breakfast lounge, unfortunately as we had left it  late we had to queue to be seated but were given fresh fruit juices whilst we waited.  The wait paid off as we were seated right next to the window with a sea view.  We then proceeded to make the most of the breakfast as they had everything you could imagine.  Starting off with some cereals, then ordering your eggs at the egg bar and adding a full English to it after which I eyed the cheeseboard which had a big lump of Danish blue/stilton on it (well it is Xmas after all).  However after my cheese and biscuits I just didn’t have the stamina for the fresh fruits, pastry’s or chocolate muffins!! (Shell stopped after the Full English)

Back to the room (to check it was still there) we then prepared for a day round the pool, which included adding the rest of the tonic water to the remaining Vodka in my water flask (A handy trick picked up in Pushkar!) to save us buying drinks around the pool.

It appears that there must be a strong German contingent in the hotel as yet again there were no sun loungers available so once again we got the mats and towels from the pool attendant and spent the afternoon relaxing.  Whilst you are baking in the heat from time to time the pool attendant will come round and furnish you with cold water bottles – which is a nice touch. Another great thing about being here as our annual Christmas swim was a lot easier this year (Beats the English Channel!!).  One thing I did miss whilst popping up to the room, to make sure it was still there,  was that Santa Claus had found his way to the Taj Mahal pool and when I got back Shell was sat there with more chocolates (As Tub mentioned on our facebook photo – Santa did have a rather healthy looking tan!!).  After a few hours and the fact that we had finished our ‘Water’ we headed back to our fantastic room (Did I mention how good it is??) to make some calls back home to our folks.

The first people on line were Des and Pam and it was great because of the good internet connection that we were able to video skype them and have a good conversation with them (Apologies for the chin’s quip Pam – but I think I’m safe as after 10 months you may have forgotten!!)

Eventually after texting Daryll and Shuan we managed to get my Mum and Dad online which was great but made even better as Mum all good to go sat on the arm of the chair and quickly slipped off disappearing from camera view you’ve been framed style (I wish I had a video of it!!) which had Shell and I rolling on the floor.  Once we stopped laughing we had a nice long conversation with them and it was nice to be able to see them as well as speak to them.

The only people we didn’t manage to speak to was Pat and John which was a shame as they did not seem to come online – what kind of excuse is that you’re packing up your house to move to Devon!!!!! (That or John is busy on the 7^th course of his Xmas dinner!)

Phone calls done and sitting in our reindeer and Santa hats (purchased for the skype calls) we polished off the not so nice prosecco and got ready to hit the town. We were going to treat ourselves to dinner at the Taj but after finding out that it was £70 a head for a buffet style Xmas dinner we decided to go with one of the recommendations in our guide book instead.

We did our loop of cheap(er) bars and then decided to get our xmas dinner, this turned out to be a Kebab! Well, the write up was good and the que was massive so instead of turkey and trimmings we each had a chicken tikka kebab and sat on the pavement munching it after deciding to take the party back to the hotel room (well you have to get your monies worth don’t you?)

The fairy had been again and the bed was turned down so we poured ourselves a couple of drinks from our contraband and settled in for the night. MERRY CHRISTMAS ONE AND ALL X

Day 4 – Boxing Day

Another great night’s sleep was followed by another very big breakfast (making the most of it) I was going to take it easy and leave out the cheese and biscuits this morning but they provoked me by  replacing the Stilton with a large lump of Ementhal – what can I say I’m a cheese whore!!

Our plans to explore Mumbai including Elephant island (there are no elephants there, just a statue) do not seem to be materializing, we are just enjoying our room and The Taj Palace Hotel, we spent quite a bit of the time in the room today, making sure it didn’t disappear!

Some of the nice touches that happen when the room is cleaned are any personal effect you leave are placed on top of a sheet of paper.  When Shel left her sunglasses in the room a sunglasses cloth was placed underneath it, some of our electronic cables were tidied up with cable ties. In the afternoon bed is made up with loads of pillows and cushions and when you get back at night the bed has been turned down and the curtains have been drawn (I love this room!!)

Another lazy day around the pool again today,  I think after 7 weeks of chasing round like nutters it has  finally taken its toll and we are just happy for a bit of R&R.

Returning to our room later in the afternoon we opened our door to a pattern of flower petals on the floor and some gifts for Shell (or me if I have the inclination) of some Bangles, Earrings and Bindies.  Shortly after Shell also discovered a small Jewellery box had been placed next to her earrings that she had left in the room (I hope these are not going to be added to our bill!! We are going to leave an empty wallet next in the hope that he fills that too….

In the evening we popped out for a couple of beers and possibly our final Indian Curry for a while. We had another quick beer in another seedy little bar that was packed full of locals and with a ceiling clearance of around 5 ½ foot so you can imagine how oversized I felt in there.   Anyway we returned early to make the most of our final night in the room (Also because they were showing Premier League Football on the TV all night -  Just don’t tell Shell!!).  Unfortunately Shell did not go to sleep as early as normal so we ended up watching a film until her snores enabled me to get my football fix!!

Day 5 – Back to reality!  L

Our last breakfast at the Taj so we eked it out as long as possible, letting our food digest so we could go and fill up on another plateful. True to form Glenn finished with Cheese, this time Brie.

After packing including everything that wasn’t nailed down: Shampoos, Lotions, Coffee, Teas, loo roll!) We checked out at 12 and headed to a shady area by the pool to wait it out until it was time to leave for our 1AM flight to Bangkok. Fortunately Glenn spotted a couple of loungers in the shade and sent me off to grab them Ninja style…jumping over beds, pushing small children out of the way and generally elbowing my way through I secured them! Yay!, we could snooze, read and fill up on free water till it was time to go! It made our wait pretty painless. Only popping out to grab a bite early evening.

Unfortunately staying here felt like turning left on the plane and now it’s going to be hard going back to economy class!

Checking out, the concierge flagged down a taxi (£10 as opposed to the £45 they wanted to charge for their transfer service!) we set off for the 1 hour drive to the airport. Unfortunately I think our driver had a touch of the Delhi Belly as he periodically stank the car out and then would open up the window to let in some not so fresh air in on the pretence of adjusting his wing mirror. The gear box was on its way out too and he had to have his foot permanently on the accelerator for fear of it stalling. So we were glad to get to the airport in once piece despite feeling a bit queasy from the journey!.

That’s it, goodbye India, hello Thailand (I’m getting the impression that Glenn is quite pleased this leg of our journey is over!)

Varanasi – Funeral Pyres & Sunset Aart

Day 1

We arrived in Varanasi around 7.00am and were met outside our train carriage by our driver and then taken to our hotel.  The driver then proceeded to sell us two trips one for the evening Aarti ceremony at one of the Ghats along the Ganges and to see the funeral pyres.  The other one to see the morning ceremony followed by a boat trip along the Ganges.

As we were knackered from our overnight train journey we had some breakfast and then chilled out in our room until our afternoon trip was due to start.

Our driver picked us up at 3.00 and took us into the main town getting stuck in unbelievable bottlenecks (they don’t have roundabouts or traffic lights). It was quite amusing to see some drivers that had given up on the road we were on and instead deciding it was a better option to drive down the other side of the road going the wrong way, then getting into massive arguments with people getting stuck coming in the opposite direction.

Parking up we were then led at a very hard pace through loads of backstreets which were very colourful and interesting, however we did not really get a chance to have a good look for fear we would lose our guide who was on a mission. 

Eventually we stopped and were handed over to a holy man who then led us down to the funeral pyres,  I don’t think we were prepared about how up close and personal we were going to get to this area.  Suddenly we were confronted with around 6 – 10 burning pyres with bodies in various stages of getting consumed by the fire, the closest of which looked as though had only recently been started so that you could see the face and head clearly burning (Shell said she is going to have nightmares about this).  An interesting fact is they use special wood for the pyres which give off a scent when burning that masks the smell of burning flesh.  There were also loads of bodies on wooden stretchers either covered or uncovered which were lined up waiting to be burnt. We were told that they burn up to 350 bodies a day here!.  Both Shell and I felt uncomfortable as we felt this should be a private area and it felt like we were intruding on something very personal and we shouldn’t be there (obviously there are no photo’s of this area!). Once burned the relatives can then scatter the remnants into the Ganges.

Another interesting fact is not all the people that die are burnt, if you are a child under 18, a pregnant mother, had died of a snake bite or a Sadu you were taken to the centre of the river and sank with rocks.  Also which is quite weird, if you die of leprosy you have had bad karma in your life so are not deemed as worthy to be burned, so again you were sunk in the middle of the river with the innocents – which again seems like baffling logic to me (Leprosy is deemed bad yet all other diseases are not???)

As we were going we got the big sell (naturally), apparently the holy man looked after all the dying poor people housed in the three dilapidated buildings around the site, who did not have any relatives that could pay for the wood to burn them so he is responsible for doing this.  The wood they use is very expensive at £5 a kilo and it generally takes 25 – 30 kilos of wood to burn a body therefore he would like a donation from us as it would be ‘Good Karma’.  Once I gave him the equivalent of £5 he went on to say most visitors paid for 5 kilos of wood to which we responded we do not have that money to give, he then went to Shell asking her for a donation too and after Shell tried to explain it was both our money and a long discussion where Shell actually found a couple of small Rupee notes in her bag and gave these over to him we were then taken back to where our driver was waiting.

I must say that this was an interesting experience however it was also quite disturbing which would probably been better if we had witnessed it at a distance!

Trying to get these images from our heads we were then driven to one of the Ghats along the river to watch the evening ceremony.  We appeared to arrive too early as we had about an 1 ¼ hour wait until it began.  So we decided to have a wander around the site but this was a bad idea as it was like a fairground with people trying to sell us all sorts of tat (including glow in the dark toys & candy floss!) and other people being nice and saying hello, then their friendly handshake being changed into a hand massage which they want paying for (A den of vipers!!).  We got bored of that very quickly (especially me reaching boiling point) so we found a quiet corner on the edge to escape this circus!

When it did eventually begin there was some backing music and around 6-7 young guys dressed in traditional costumes took their positions on podiums in front of the Ganges and began to sing and prey (reminded me a bit of a boy-band), whilst spinning and turning with various religious artifacts (Lit candelabras, incense smoking pots, metal cobra’s with flames, etc.).  It went on for around about 45 minutes and to me it just seemed like another cultural show (you know how much I enjoy these!!) me being neither religious or ‘Spiritual’!!  (And I have to do it all again tomorrow at 5.00am – can’t wait), even Shell said it was not as good or atmospheric as the last one she saw when she was in Varanasi 12 years ago.

After all that excitement we were then taken back in the direction of our hotel, but we asked the driver to drop us off at a good restaurant on the way home, which he duly did.  It was down a side alley and it was one we would never have found ourselves.  The food was good if a little overpriced, I’m guessing we also paid for a driver’s commission for taking us there.

We then returned home for a early night as once again we had to be up early for the next mornings trip.  (Shell is hoping not to have nightmares about dead people!).

Day 2 – Sunrise Aarti & Boat Trip

Up with the larks and wrapped up in hats, scarves and gloves (its really cold mornings & evenings) we met our driver in reception. I quite liked him, he actually spoke to me!.

We made our way to a different Ghat to watch the sunrise ceremony. This one I’m glad to say was much more tasteful, there was still the same  boy bandish group of lads/holy men  dressed up in their finery but rather than tinny music blasted out over a tanoy, they were accompanied by a group of girls OMing and chanting which really made it special. No big crowds, candy floss sellers or massage mafia meant we could watch the rituals without being disturbed as the sun rose over the Ganges. NICE!

Following the ceremony there was some classical Indian music which to my surprise I really liked but the driver was keen to get us away and into a boat so after a brief stop for some Chai (5p a cup) we went back to the original Ghat to board our boat.

My expectations for the boat trip were not high but we both thoroughly enjoyed it, you got a great perspective of the Ghats, the different colours, people and were able to take lots of snaps from a respectable distance of people going about their daily business which you wouldn’t be able to do on land.

We went past a bathing Ghat, a Laundry Ghat (glad I hand washed my draws!) and then to the Cremation Ghat where we asked to stay at a respectable distance.  All in all I think the trip was about 45 mins, well worth it and a top tip if you ever visit!. (costs about £2 each for your own boat)

The previous day the driver was very keen to take us to a silk making factory where he said it housed 20,000 workers!. Not keen on witnessing a sweat shop we just did an Indian head shake (side to side) non commitment thing!, I did however say that we (me not Glenn) wanted to practice some Yoga, especially as Varanasi is the heart of Yoga, plus the guy who sold us the trip had recommended it. Id asked him 3 times the day before and he begrudgingly said he would sort it out but alas it never materialised and I got fed-up asking so Glenn’s lucky escape… until Thailand!. So after another hard sell on the silk factory and us refusing we were dropped off at our hotel at 9AM for breakfast.

Both knackered from the bad night’s sleep on the train and early starts, we felt we deserved a day doing absolutely nothing so we spent the rest of the day sorting out Visa’s, airport transfers, hotels and chilling!j.  A quick cut throat shave for Glenn  (equiv of £1.00 with massage and lotions) so people would stop thinking he was my sugar daddy,  and dinner at the hotel then early to bed for our flight to Mumbai.

I must say, Varanasi has changed dramatically since I was last here, the ceremonies were okay but its an overcrowded filthy place where you will be constantly hassled so not for the faint hearted!.

 Indian Trains!

I like to think that I’m not too high maintenance and can tolerate pretty rough conditions but I must admit the trains in India got the better of me!. I travelled on a sleeper train years back in India so knew what to expect so I don’t know if my tolerance has dropped or my need for clean and comfortable surroundings has increased but after our last Journey from Agra to Varanasi I threw the towel in!

We’ve been on one return journey to Amritsar – 20hrs (should have taken 16) and then to Varanasi 10hrs (should have taken 8) with this last journey being the worse!.

It was an overnight train and whilst the people were very pleasant and friendly, sharing your personal space with 6 other people (a man/woman next to me shared the same bunk!) Snoring, snorting coughing and farting (& that was just the woman). People deciding to sit on the end of your bunk whilst you are in it trying to get to sleep!, Cockroaches running up the walls,  someone stealing Glenn’s pillow and blanket, me arguing with a red eyed attendant (off his tits), trying to get replacements and then there’s the toilet!.

So far id managed to opt for total dehydration on the other trains rather than use the loo’s but on the overnighter I didn’t have much choice. The train had already been going about 7hrs when we joined it so the loo had already been put to good use and humming nicely when we boarded!. Trying to negotiate squatting down, balancing, holding up your trousers so they don’t get soaked in wee, pinching your nose and trying to avoid slipping down the hole is quite an achievement. I didn’t realise until the morning that it’s just a big hole and all the excrement goes directly on the track! By the time morning came you needed water wings to get to the toilet where the floor was so covered!

Arriving in Varanasi I hadn’t had a wink of sleep and knowing that we had a 26 Journey on a train to get to Mumbai/ almost had me in tears! 26 bloody hours, and that’s if it isn’t delayed! So arriving at our hotel I promptly got on the internet and booked 2 flights and binned the train tickets!

2hrs instead of 26hrs and a day of our lives back!, I know it’s not in the spirit of traveling and certainly wasn’t in our budget but for my sanity (and Glenn’s who’s ear I’d be bending) I think it was money well spent!. 

Project Beard

So after the 60 year old quip the beard finally had to go! Glenn is just back newly shaved and smelling lovely! .

So for the record that now makes 2 pampering treatments for Glenn and Shelley 0!

Before and after pics below.

Got to go, off for a snog!

Babu Rant!

I know Glenn has covered a lot of this previously but I just feel the need to get this off my chest and it will be a warm up for the feedback I plan to give the smarmy tour operator guy back at the office! Plus Glenn’s popped out to get his beloved beard shaved off and I’m bored!.

What a chauvinistic misogynistic hairy eared prat! He had more respect for the monkeys he fed along the way than he did for me, no doubt coz they had a lot in common & it was like looking at a mirror image of himself with those hairy ears!

Day one he made a slight effort and spoke to me but this quickly disappeared by lunchtime!. I thought it was quite funny at first as Glenn, who tends to leave all the talking to me, was going to have to make a lot of effort in conversation over the next few days. However this very quickly wore off!

Going the long way around the car to open the car door for Glenn to get out and not even unlocking the car for me to get in! (Glenn had to jump in and reach over each time). Asking a question and him constantly directing his answers back to Glenn,  and then when he did speak…. “good morning sir” and a slight nod in my direction!. “is sir well today?” “What did sir think of the temple/monument/lunch/hotel” to me? “…..” you get the idea?

By day 3 we experimented to see how long it would take him to talk to me without me instigating/asking a question the result? 10 days!.

On top of this he didn’t even attempt to understand us, when he did speak it was to try to direct us into some sort of emporium, trip or overpriced food stop. I’d feel safer driving the bloody car in India than him and anyone who knows my confidence in driving will now appreciate how unsafe we felt at times!

The pic below was to capture the ironic sticker he has emblazoned across his back windscreen with me pointing to it, unfortunately a mixture of Glenn’s photography skills and a crap camera means you can hardly read it.

The sticker reads: THIS CAR RESPECTS WOMEN!
( I reckon one of his mates superglued it on for a laugh!. doesn't he look happy standing next to me?)

I still can’t bring myself to ask Glenn how much we did actually tip him in the end but I asked him not to include my half, after all he wouldn’t want a woman’s money anyhow would he?

Agra – Having it Taj!! / Bubye Babu!!!

Getting up and out for 6.00am for sunrise at the Taj Mahal we were met by Babu who drove us as close as he was allowed to get to the Taj (Restrictions on cars in the area as pollution is slowly but surely destroying the monument!) and then we were taken by electric Tuk-Tuk the rest of the way.

Finding our way down a dark alley we queued up in what we made out to be the ticket desk (judging by people already standing there), then we had to queue in a second line to get in (around about 45 minutes).  Eventually we got in and this time decided to get an audio guide as for the first time there were not dozens of personal guides bugging us for their services – typical!!

Once you were through one of the impressive gates to the main complex we were met with one of the most recognisable sights in the world.  Following our audio guide round the gardens & fountains (that were not working) we found ourselves at the foot of the Taj itself, which at this hour in the morning was bathed in mist off of the river next to it, which made it quite magical.  Although it is a fantastic sight it did not quite do it for me as say Christ the Redeemer did in Rio, I’m not sure why – maybe I was getting tired of India (Shelley was a bit disappointed by my reaction). 

Anyway we spent a couple of hours here taking lots of photo’s and selfies (Sorry folks did not do the Diana pose as the bench was mobbed with people with the same idea, plus did not have time to pick up the blond wig!).

We returned for breakfast at our hotel after which Babu still in tourist guide/TIP! mode suggested we went to Agra Fort.  So to the fort we went and were given 2 hours to look around, which was quite interesting as it had been built and updated by various rulers, changing it from sandstone to completely marble in some courtyards.  It also had some very impressive views over the river to the Taj Mahal.  The only problem was that only a small part of the fort was open to the general public so we had to kick our heels for a while whilst Babu had put his feet up somewhere (As you may have guessed we are completely fed up with our erstwhile driver/guide now!). We would recommend 60-90 mins max and def get a guide (we didn’t) as not much info available.

Meeting back with Babu around 2.00 he suggested we go to another one of his expensive restaurants for lunch, we told him we wanted to go to the Taj Ganj area as we had already read up that this is where we could find rooftop restaurants where you had great views of the Taj.  We were dropped off in the area and we told Babu we would meet him at 6.30 to drop us off at the train station (he sulked as he wanted to drop us off earlier so he could  head off home early at the expense of our convenience!).

After a bit of searching we found a nice rooftop that did have fantastic views, so we spend the rest of the afternoon having drinks and food whilst taking in the view.  

We also had entertainment as there were loads of monkeys jumping round between all the buildings and nearby tree, sometimes heart in mouth as you saw some of the youngsters making death defying leaps between the buildings.

The night before reading up on the train journey and checking the internet we found that the station we were booked to arrive at did not stop in Varanasi city (Our next destination) but 17km outside of it at 5.00am in the morning and this was not the trains final stop (which was nice of the sleazy git to inform us of!!).   Which meant we would arrive at 5.00 and have to find our own way to Varanasi ourselves (we were told that the station was riddled with rip off touts!)

We met back with Babu  at 6.30 and Shelley asked to speak to the tourist agent (sleazy git) and she pretty much told him that we wanted to be picked up from the station we were arriving at and to let the hotel know we would be arriving and checking in early – which he begrudgingly agreed too (Don’t mess with the Hart!).  Babu surprised by Shelley’s authority on the phone asked what she did for a living, ‘A Project Manager’ she responded, I’m not sure if I imagined it but there was a flicker of respect in his eyes at last!! He then tried to get us to leave 30 mins earlier than we agreed, Shelley refused!.

Anyway that was it our final journey with Babu to the train station which we were immensely pleased about and I’m sure our relatives and loved ones reading this blog will be too.  I’m pretty sure that was the most dangerous thing we will be doing on this trip and I include future activities like hiking up volcanos and doing a shark cage into that equation!!  (Sorry Darryl you won’t be inheriting my flat quite yet!).

Begrudgingly we also had to give Babu a reasonable tip as this is expected (maybe not as much as he would have liked or expected) as the tour operators pay them a poor wage as it is expected that the tourists make up their wages by the way of a decent payment.  (Lucky for Babu that I am responsible for our money affair not Shelley).  A more sensible tip for him would be to ‘Get a decent pair glasses’ or ‘give up driving for a living before you kill someone!’

Next up was the overnight train journey to Varanasi (Or somewhere close to it!) and at the train station this did not bode well as by the time our train turned up it was already an hour late.  Boarding it, unsurprisingly some family were sat in our seats and we were pointed to some other seats instead (it appears seat numbers don’t mean much on Indian trains).  

Once settled we got talking to some local people and they were very helpful, listing a number of things we could do in Varanasi and making us feel very welcome. (So far the only people who haven’t wanted money off us in India have been found on the trains).  We then enquired about the etiquette regarding going to bed if you have the lower and middle bunks of the three (as middle one is folded down and during the day/evening everyone sits on the lower one), we were told that as you have paid for the bunk it is your right to tell everyone to move as you want to go to bed and there can be no complaints.  However being British and the fact that whole groups congregate and have a chinwag squeezed up on these seats we find it very hard to say at 8.00 ‘Can you lot all bugger off as we want to go to bed now!”

We sat and watched a couple of episodes of ‘The Apprentice’ (Shel’s found a nifty way of downloading BBC Iplayer!) whilst we waited for people to drift off to their beds before finally sorting out our beds for the night (although someone had already nicked my pillow & blanket and requesting new ones seemed to cause a massive problem so had to make do with a blanket which was proffered with great reluctance!).  Unfortunately we got very little sleep as we were paranoid we would miss our stop and end up 800km away (Shelley got none as her neighbour took on my snoring duties for the night), but hey that’s what travelling in India is all about!!  Next stop Varanasi.

Jaipur – The Pink City

Day 1 – This Beard has to Go!!

We left Udaipur early in the morning (Babu had managed to repair his rear bumper from previous accident) and headed for Jaipur, another 7 hour drive which we were not looking forward to.

Happily there were no break-downs or accidents on this leg, but Babu still did  not have any intention of speaking to Shelley unless he really had too, only 7 hours of erratic driving (which includes taking his hands off the wheel and praying whenever he passed anything remotely religious!).

Jaipur is named ‘The Pink City’ because the buildings have a uniform pink colour for no other reason than to camouflage the poor quality materials from which they were originally constructed.

We arrived late in the day and checked into our hotel which was quite nice and after the long journey we went for a beer on the roof terrace (sounds better than it was).  There was a chirpy barman up there that showed us how to remove beer caps by firing them off with the aid of a spoon (So now I’ve learnt a new skill on my travels!!). 

All was going well until he asked about children, when we said we had none he kept banging on about us having some, saying that Shelley could knock one out in 9 months.  Eventually he concluded that we couldn’t have kids because I (Glenn not Shelley!) was between 55 – 65!!!!!  This beard has got to go – how bloody rude!! (Obviously Shelley is creased up about this comment)

After this insult we decided to go and find somewhere different to spend our money!,  we looked around for some time and ended up in a fairly dark, dingy, sleazy bar.  I usually like these types of establishments but after being asked for money to smoke there (which I refused) and trying to be overcharged for a beer, we decided to only stay for one before returning back to the hotel for the night.

Day 2 – Sightseeing

Babu I think was beginning to realise it was coming close to tip time decided to offer us a day sightseeing, which we took him up on as we figured as it was round town it should not be too dangerous.

Firstly we went to one of the town’s main attraction the ‘Amber Palace’ which was quite an imposing structure that runs along a high ridge near the city, with a procession of tourists heading up to it on elephant back (we walked it as we are now experienced hikers!). 

Not being  given any information from our helpful guide Babu we opted for a more expensive tickets to enable us to get into a number of the cities buildings as we thought we would be going to a few of them later on. 

Anyway we had a look round the palace for a while which was quite nice. One thing of note was the pair of glasses proudly displayed which Ben Kingsley wore when he played Gandhi? Eh?, whats all that about?  We then headed for the Jaigarh Fort which was accessible via a secret underground tunnel from the palace and then another steep climb upwards. What a surprise this was not included in our multi-ticket and yet again we also have to pay for a camera ticket (I wonder how long it’s going to take the UK to cotton on to this money spinner?)

The fort itself was pretty ramshackled with very poor sign posting, but in the far corner there were some nice gardens with fantastic views over the whole complex and reservoirs below.

We then stopped off quickly to look at the water palace before Babu decided we should go for lunch at yet another of his overpriced locations (Backhanders mee-thinks!), where as usual we just opt for drinks.

After lunch we were then dropped off at the City Palace (Not included in our Multi-Ticket) where the royal family still reside.  However we found it pretty bland and uninspiring compared with some of the buildings we have already seen in India, the only thing of note here being the World Record Silver Urns (evidently the reigning Raj had them filled with water when he traveled to the UK as he didnt trust our unsanitary supply!) and a museum of some blood curdling weaponry.

Next stop was ‘Jantar Mantar’ which was a garden complex that was filled with very large and ancient astrological instruments that could have been more interesting if we hadn’t been flagging. 

After this we took a look along the Bazaar’s which we weren’t particularly impressed by, not the enclosed winding streets that we were expecting but just long streets with shops (Shelley is still not allowed to buy anything!!).  So a short while after we thought we would check out another bar that was in our rough guide – once again although it was up nine stories with views over the city (through very dirty windows!) it was no great shakes so we only stayed for the one.

As Shelley and I were not that blown away by Jaipur (I think we had a more romantic image than what we found) we thought we would find some early dinner before going back to the hotel.  We decided on what sounded like and interesting restaurant only to be informed that when we were searching for it that it wasn’t that good (people only went to it because it was in the rough guide) and were recommended somewhere different.  The restaurant was very basic but the food was good and cheap (however I will live to regret this decision!).

We then headed home by tuk-tuk, but we couldn’t get a cheap fare, we found out why when the driver took us to a hotel with a similar name about 10 miles from where our was!! Eventually we did get home and went to bed. (An extremely expensive fare for the driver at £1).

Day 3 – Dellhi Belly, More Sightseeing and Journey to Agra

It finally caught up with me (thanks recommender of restaurant!!) and I spent the whole night on the loo with my head switching between the sink and bath, and I mean all night, I think my internal organs must have liquidised, unfortunately Shelley did not get that much sleep either (These rooms do not  have sound proof doors!!!).

After a rotten night a few Imodium and painkillers were in order as we had another 5 hour drive in front of us and with Babu’s dodgy driving so  I didn’t want to take any chances!.

We were setting off for Agra but Babu was suddenly in tourist guide mood mode so firstly he took us to Sisodia Rani-ka-Bagh a small royal pleasure palace with nice gardens (we had a ticket for this on our multi-pass) which was a five minute attraction if you eeked it out!.  Followed by ‘Monkey Temple’ (Galta) which was a collection of temples nestled in a rocky ravine with three reservoirs/come stagnant pools which were populated by thousands of monkeys (Which looked a bit vicious – Shelley wasn’t too happy!).  People were actually washing/performing rituals in these stagnant pools filled with Monkey Doo – nice!!

Despite telling Babu about my illness the night before this seemed to make no difference on the way he drove for the next four hours, I’m very glad the Imodium was doing its jobs.  The journey was quite uneventful  with the usual stops for Babu to prey at some temples and the normal stop at an expensive restaurant for  lunch en-route.

Arriving at Agra late in the day we arrived at our hotel which was nice and spacious, so as I was not feeling 100% we stayed in and relaxed (plus the fact we had to be up at 5.00 for our dawn visit to the Taj Mahal).  We did go to the restaurant for dinner however I only had a drink whilst Shelley ordered a Mushroom Korma which when arrived looked like a grey mushroom soup and apparently didn’t taste that much better either, so pretty pleased I didn’t feel like eating!

Udaipur

Day 1 – It was only matter of time!!

We headed off from Jodphur at 9.00 with another long drive in front of us.  Babu was still not conversing with Shelley, even when she directed a question at him he responded to me! Completely fed up now she decided not to bother with him anymore, we don’t think he even noticed!. 

Anyway about 10 minutes into our journey, another last minute hard braking from Babu led to our car being rear ended by another car (You couldn’t make this up!!).  Babu went out to sort this out, which I found out later meant everyone paying for their own damage as it took too much time and effort to sort this out at the local police station.  Not once did he enquire whether Shelley or I were injured or OK.  (Shelley’s really hating on him now!!). 

Anyway the net result of this accident meant that we were yet again delayed and now in a bad mood,  Babu drove in an even worse manner than before which we didn’t think possible!

Eventually after 3 hours he calmed down a bit and we were driving through a Jungle/National park with lots of monkeys knocking around and apparently leopards too!  We stopped around here for a spot of lunch before carrying on, taking in some ancient temples on the way. Unfortunately we couldn’t go inside the temple, see Rules below:  (It was my shorts not Shelley - Rule No. 11!)

Finally we arrived in Udaipur which lays on shores of Lake Pichola and backdropped by a ring of craggy green hills (thanks rough guide!!).  

We went into our hotel which was pretty close to the lake but when Shelley asked for a room with a lake view we were told it was not possible, for the first time Babu stepped up to the mark and asked the receptionist to put us in a room with a lakeside view and suddenly it was possible (Babu may now get a tip!!).  The room had a great view over the lake looking at the Ghatt on the other side of the lake.

After checking in and ditching our gear we had a look around taking a beer in a posh hotel directly opposite the Lake Palace which was very pretty (Although the beer was very expensive!).

In the evening we found a lovely restaurant on the edge of lake, a low down cross your legs jobby which was OK for Mrs Flexible but not so much for Mr Un-Flexible (My knee’s really don’t like me on this trip).  Another very nice vegetable curry later we decided to have an early night for a change and do some proper sightseeing the next day.

Day 2

We actually had a bit of a lie in today – 8.00!!  Before taking breakfast on our rooftop restaurant overlooking the lake and watching eagle fly by overhead (not a bad way to start your day).

A couple eggs &  toast later we were heading off in search of a boat trip around the lake (as advised to do in our guide).  We passed on the hotel receptionist offer to get up a boat outside the hotel as we realised that this would involve commission and a very expensive private boat!!  So we went in search of the tourist boat having been given very vague directions – as usual!!

Eventually weaving in and about small streets on the other side of the lake we found it (More luck than judgement), however this entailed a more expensive ticket than expected as you had to pass through the City Palace.  We decided to spend an hour, the palace which was quite pretty and interesting, but as usual you had to pay extra for an audio commentary which we did not bother with (we are on a budget!!).  Preferring instead to eaves drop on the groups with paid guides instead! Apparently the guy who built the Taj Mahal visited this palace in his younger years and this is what he based the Taj on, we couldn’t see it ourselves.

Heading down to the jetty we then boarded a boat for the trip around the lake, having to wear lifejackets that had seen better days, I think mine had ‘The Mary Celeste’ and Shelley’s ‘The Bismark’ printed on them!! Anyway the lake was as flat as a pancake so we were not too worried.  The boat took us around the Lake Palace and on to the Jag Mandir (Another Island Palace) where we disembarked for some expensive refreshments.  After wandering round for a while we got another boat that took us back to the City Palace where the trip ended.

On the way back we decided to explore the area where we then got a bit lost in before spotting a rooftop bar where we could have a beer & work out how to get back to where our hotel was.  Finding our bearings we then headed back to the hotel and had another quick beer in a real ramshackle café right on the river where we sat and watched a couple of the locals washing their clothes in the lake (glad we did not use a laundry in this town!).

I successfully avoided a massage despite a number of offers and Shelley being keen and instead opted to go for dinner instead, again another cross-legged jobby and yet again a fairly reasonable veggie curry (Shelley is going to start to look like a mushroom soon if she eats many more!).

We then thought it would be a good idea to go back to the hotel and chill out and watch a movie before bed to help up prepared for yet another 7-8gr white knuckle drive to Jaipur the next morning. (Fingers crossed incident free!).

Jodphur – The Blue City

Day 1 – Anyone got the number for the AA?

Waking up and going for breakfast in the gardens we were met by Babu who informed us that the car had a problem and he needed to go into town to get a water hose replaced – this was going to take 20 minutes.

About an hour later Babu returned and we were on our way, still no sign of him acknowledging Shelley but ensuring he opens the door for me!

Anyway we were looking forward to seeing Jodphur as apparently it has a very large impressive fort on the cliffs overlooking the city.  The city is also named the Blue city as a large number of the houses are painted blue, the thinking that this was a high caste colour and was to keep the houses protected from insects and was cool in the summer (plagiarised from our rough guide book!).

Unfortunately about 2 hours in to the drive there was a strong smell of burning!; Babu pulled over – the car was dead!!  We helped him push it along the road to a nearby roadside café, at which point he looked very confused as what to do.  Apparently he reckoned that something was wrong with the timing belt and this was all he told us, not how he was going to sort this out.  Eventually after Shelley and I standing around looking fed up (and Shelley suggesting we needed an alternative car) he decided to get us a cab for the rest of the way and he would catch up later (I’m thinking if your timing belt has gone mate so has your engine, so did not expect to see him again).  The cab journey was in fact a lot better as the taxi drivers driving was far calmer than Babu’s driving and the driver actually deemed to speak to Shelley!!

Arriving in Jodphur later than planned and after the taxi driver asked about 10 people where our hotel was we eventually arrived.  The hotel couldn’t have been in a better place as it was practically in the shadow of the fort and the fort was certainly very impressive.  Our room was a very colonial Indian room  (Another Best  Marigold but less crumbling and cold!) , but we quite liked the authenticity of it.  Better still our hotel had a rooftop restaurant looking up to the Fort that served beer, so after the journey we had we thought we would have a couple of beers in the Sun (about 80 Degrees) and appreciate the backdrop of the fort we had.

We then ventured into the town which was quite famous for its Bazaars with various trades being carried out, it was very bustling and colourful (Mainly Spice Traders) – this was the India I wanted to see!!  Much happier!

In the evening we went to a place to eat that was recommended by the Rough Guide Book and Babu, it was slightly out of town, which meant a Tuk-Tuk ride and a slightly upmarket restaurant ‘On The Rock’s’ but it was worth it.   A very nice restaurant that was canopied by trees with fire pits all round the tables, food was good although not as  chili hot as we wanted (we went for a 2 chili dishes, inc meat as we knew we did not have to travel the next day)

Returning back to our hotel afterwards we came across a traditional Indian wedding that was in full swing, drums and the ladies dancing, watching from a distance we were invited to come closer and join  in the dancing by the grooms brother in law, we had a closer look but declined the dancing as I still had my Delhi defences up and thought this would also entail making a gift to the happy couple (that and anyone that has seen me dancing, I worried that I may take a couple of the marriage party out with my flailing limbs!!).  We then found a nice bar that served illegal beers as we don’t think the restaurant was licenced, which arrived wrapped in newspaper and we were told to place under our tables! 

P.S.  Happy birthday Tommy, hope it was a good one!

Day 2

After breakfast it was off to do some sightseeing and first port of call was the fort that dominated the skyline.  A short 10 minute walk up a steep path (we’re experts now after the Nepal trekking) and we were at the entrance.  However our ‘driver/guide’ Babu did not mention that we required photo ID to be able to get the audio commentary headphones!  Never mind we thought it’s not like we are going to remember who prince ujamaflip III vanquished from his lands and also we didn’t fancy going back down to get our passports.

So we took ourselves around the fort which was very interesting and impressive, having some nice museums inside and various bed chambers, ramparts etc.  There was also a yoga meditation music demonstration going on which we sat down and were instructed to close our eyes and listen to ‘The Morning Song’ whilst slowly breathing in and out  (Well that’s Shelley’s indian yoga session taken care of!!).  Walking round the top of the fort you could see why Jodphur had got its Monika from as looking down you could see all the blue washed building below, it was a spectacular view but most probably not done justice from our photos.

On the way down we were approached by a local man who came out of a house and showed us his foreign money collection, he opened a book and showed us various bank notes from around the world, believe it or no he even had Jersey & Guernsey pound notes.  He also informed us that his wife would cook us a Tali in his house for 35p each, we thanked him and told him we may come back to take up this offer later.

We then decided to have a look round the town in daylight before returning to our hotel for another blogging session (these blogs do take chunks out your days if you don’t keep up with them regularly).  The town was again buzzing with life and traders and was full of wonderful sights and smells, as we are travelling we are only window shopping. We had previously noted that there was a lake nearby so we went in search of this, unfortunately when we did find it, it was no more than a stagnant small reservoir so we decided to find something for lunch.

Returned to paper-bag beer restaurant ordered a couple of beers and this time (as it was daylight) we were served in coffee mugs and the bottles taken away from the table!  We also shared a tomato masala and rice dish which was very nice.

In the afternoon we caught up on our blog sat in our rooftop terrace the sunshine with a couple of beers, this taking its time as usual it started getting dark and just as we started thinking about going out to get food we started chatting to two guys from Switzerland. One beer led to another and we ended up spending the rest of the evening chatting to them and their driver/guide who joined us,  we had serious guide envy as their guide had very good English, loads of tips on what to do see, was funny and spoke directly to Shelley!(Luck of the draw I guess).  Shelley and I did try to convince him to join us instead of sticking with the Swiss guys as we would tip him better, but unfortunately to no avail (although the swiss guys did look a bit nervous – thinking for a moment we were serious).

Anyway the nice evening was completed when there was a firework display from the fort above us, then it was off to bed as we were heading for Udaphur tomorrow.

I didn’t mention Babu did arrived late on day one, it was the alternator not the timing belt – Damn!!!

Also at this point I am rocking a 10 day stubble/beard type thing and with the grey I think it looks a bit George Clooney, Shelley thinks it look a bit more George Galloway!!!